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Which of these do you experience more often?
The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your @ss look like "a Japanese Flag."

The Empty Roll Dump
Relief – you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face…..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Splash Back Dump
This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you’re wet – and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.

The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope like crazy you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump
Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16….dang commies.

The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump
You’ve finished but there’s one dang morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors…….

The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores…..

The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

………………..

So have a seat, and take a few moments to enjoy the ever-so-glorious sensation of a nice BM. Wipe well. Don’t forget to wash your hands, otherwise the poop fairies will munch on your fingers.

Happy sh!tting!

mine room:

light blue wall on top, below window sill is light orange.

metal style. NEVER MESSY, NO CLUTTER. ( i have ocd)
metal loft bed, metal desk, navy blue futon from walmart. (your zone)

a PB teen bubble bedspread– blue and green.

a lime green rug. and sheer darker orange curtains on the outside, with lime green on the inside.

i have multiple wall decals of dots in blue green purple orange in different shades,

and a huge hand painted ( i still ant believe i spent so much money on it!) dolphin painting!

plus a 911 hero plague and otherAccessoriess.

i also have a dell insperion 50 laptop.

I am 14.

BQ: how old are you?
my bed is in the far left corner, with my futon under neath. my desk is in the oposite corner. and i have a large ferret cage in the other corner.(my ferrets name is archie!) also my closet has white shutter doors! my room is about 10 by 12 feet, AND IT IS NOT CROWDED! (i know its small, i go CRAZY if my room isnt perfect.)
my bed is in the far left corner, with my futon under neath. my desk is in the oposite corner. and i have a large ferret cage in the other corner.(my ferrets name is archie!) also my closet has white shutter doors! my room is about 10 by 12 feet, AND IT IS NOT CROWDED! (i know its small, i go CRAZY if my room isnt perfect.)
oops i did that twice…
ohh yeah and hard wood bamboo floors…
NOT TOO MENTION 2 GREEN DAY POSTERS…

We’re moving into my grandparents old house, and they are heavy, heavy smokers.
We’re looking for a way to get rid of the smoke smell from the carpet mostly. But also the walls and the curtains.
Is there any way to get rid of the smell by not masking it? Like not using fabreeze, air fresheners, candles, stuff like that? Oh and also stuff you can buy at the store, not order it online.
Thanks(:

Just something I’m working on and would like to get some feedback.I’ve not wrote a story in ages and I’m just kinda toying with it so please try to be easy on me even if it stinks:) And this is just a rough draft so exuse the grammer and punctuation.The gaps are where I haven’t decided on names.Ok so here’s the beginning.

I yawned as I stretched. I still felt achy and tired which was the normal for me. I hadn’t slept well since-well forever it seemed. My dreams are plagued with the same nightmarish images. I felt the familiar sadness inside, the deep dull ache. I sighed and sat up. There was only one window in the room and with the way the sun was shining around the pale floral curtains I figured it was around nine. I sat up and looked at the nightstand to my right where a small lamp and digital clock occupied space. 9:15 the clock read. I looked to my left. There was another nightstand with the same small lamp and against the wall was a dark stained chest of drawers and a small upholstered chair. Directly in front of me was a matching dresser with no mirror. I was grateful for that unfortunately there was a full length mirror in the right corner. I didn’t enjoy viewing myself in the mirror not that I had so much before. The room had aged white panel wall and dark hardwood floor with a small floral rug that matched the curtains. A few pictures dotted the walls. I could tell the room had not been used in awhile. It had a musty smell, not unpleasant, mixed with a new fabric smell. My aunt had bought new bedding and curtains prior to my arrival. I had asked her not to make a big deal of my coming. I was grateful she didn’t go overboard.
I slid out of bed and gathered some clothes and headed to the bathroom across the hall. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing the thin, pale white woman with sunken cheeks and dull blueish eyes. After I showered I brushed my dark hair into a large barrette at the base of my neck. Even my hair was dull and lifeless so there wasn’t much I felt I could do with it. I didn’t feel the need to dress up so pulled on a simple cotton dress and my favorite sandals. I went back to my room and considered unpacking my things but I figured I could do it after breakfast. I sighed once more and headed downstairs.
The smell of coffee mingled with the smell of eggs and bacon and met me before I could reach the bottom of the stairs. I paused and straightened my posture and tried to look less pathetic than I felt. I wasn’t sure that I would be fooling my mother’s only sister. My aunt was very observant and could be outspoken at times. I knew in the conversations I’d had with her she’d been holding herself back. I was grateful and hoped she’d restrain herself this morning. She was sitting at the table when I entered the kitchen.
“Good morning” she greeted me getting up from the table,” Would you like some coffee?”
“Morning Aunt __________” as far as I was concerned there wasn’t going to much good to this morning, “Coffee sounds good.” She handed me a cup from the cabinet. As I poured me a cup as she scooped eggs onto a plate with a few stripes of bacon and sat it on the table.
“You shouldn’t have cooked.” I said as I sat down to the plate.
“Nonsense, “she said handing me a fork, “You need to eat. You’re too thin.”I wondered if she decided to stop holding back. I put a bite of eggs into my mouth and chewed quietly. She was partially right I had lost 20 lbs over the past 2 years. I didn’t have much appetite and food only barely tasted good to me. I looked around the small kitchen. The walls were the same panel as my bedroom except they were painted a pale blue. The cabinets had been painted an off white probably in an attempt to update them.
“Not much has changed since you last time you visited. How long has it been since you’ve been here?” she asked assessing me with her eyes.”5-6 years?”
“Something like that.” I answered. The last time I had been here was for my uncle’s funeral. I felt a sharper stab of sadness at the memory but not for the loss of my uncle but for an even greater loss. I took a sip of coffee to moisten my sudden dry mouth.
“Well I’m glad you’re here. I don’t get much company around here except for ___________.”
“___________________?”I asked surprised and confused. I wasn’t aware anyone else lived here.
“You know the Fosters’ boy."She said figuring I’d remember. I didn’t." I’ve known him and his family ever since I’ve lived here. I hired him to tend the farm after your uncle passed. I couldn’t bear to sell off the animals; your uncle loved them so much. So I let him tend to the farm and reap any profit it makes. He lives in a cabin on some land I sold him across the field there.” She motioned to the large field of young corn growing.
“Oh.” I said taking a bite of bacon and relieved that no one else but us would be living under the same roof. I hadn’t been very good at being social and now living with my aunt was going to be enough for me to deal with.
Yep it’s in my own words.This is the beginning and I’m working up to the backstory as to why this woman in so sad and what happens after….
Oh and I have the idea for the back story I just haven’t written it yet.This beginning is unfinished.

I’m sure that upon reading this, you’ll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven’t you need more fiber…..

The Perfect Dump

Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump

Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)

Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your *** look like a Japanese Flag.

The Empty Roll Dump

Relief – you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask where are the curtains? Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every empty roll dumper must face…..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Splash Back Dump

This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now your wet – and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.

The Childbirth Dump

This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf! There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump

Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16….damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump

You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump

You’ve finished but there’s one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hands there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors…….

The Whole Roll Dump

No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump

Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores…..

The Houdini Dump

You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your @ss look like "a Japanese Flag."

The Empty Roll Dump
Relief – you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face…..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Splash Back Dump
This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you’re wet – and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.

The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope like crazy you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump
Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16….dang commies.

The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump
You’ve finished but there’s one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors…….

The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores…..

The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

………………..

So have a seat, and take a few moments to enjoy the ever-so-glorious sensation of a nice BM. Wipe well. Don’t forget to wash your hands, otherwise the poop fairies will munch on your fingers.

Happy sh!tting!

I’m sure that upon reading this, you’ll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven’t you need more fiber…..

The Perfect Dump

Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump

Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)

Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your *** look like a Japanese Flag.

The Empty Roll Dump

Relief – you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask where are the curtains? Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every empty roll dumper must face…..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Splash Back Dump

This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now your wet – and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.

The Childbirth Dump

This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf! There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump

Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16….damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump

You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump

You’ve finished but there’s one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hands there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors…….

The Whole Roll Dump

No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump

Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores…..

The Houdini Dump

You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=vintage+tufted+headboard&um=1&hl=en&tbm=isch&tbnid=MfaNyIoBOmwNUM:&imgrefurl=http://designindulgences.com/2011/01/31/a-vintage-glam-space/&docid=Keq-azPmlXAwFM&w=600&h=450&ei=_skoTubvJIXg0QHP9dntCg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=184&vpy=410&dur=100&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=140&ty=117&page=3&tbnh=136&tbnw=191&start=51&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:19,s:51&biw=1264&bih=751

i know that it is a dressing room! lol, but like the red dresser, chair, small table with the drawer, the pink vase with flowers, large mirror, curtains, ottoman, paintings in the frame, the little bowl on the dresser, the sconce beside the large mirror, and the rug can be in a bedroom but i just want to know where i can buy those things from like an online website to be purchased and delivered. so like things like that but, i dont need help finding a bed, i just need help finding where to buy stuff like that on the internet! lol. please help! give me a link please! thanx for the help!

So I just painted my walls a bright teal. I want new bedding and curtains to go with it, but it had to be cheap because my parents dont really want to buy me new stuff. I also want a teal rug but I can’t find any rugs that I can even afford. Do you also have any suggestions for a white table lamp? And the last thing is do you know where I could find a set of white picture frames? Any help or decorating ideas would be helpful.

Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your *** look like "a Japanese Flag".

The Empty Roll Dump
Relief – you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper " must face…..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by
nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump
Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16….damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump
You’ve finished but there’s one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hands there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors…….

The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the
whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole
episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are
about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores…..

The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

The Perfect Dump

Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump

Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)

Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a Japanese Flag".

The Empty Roll Dump

Relief – you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper " must face…..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Splash Back Dump

This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now your wet – and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.

The Childbirth Dump

This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump

Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16….damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump

You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump

You’ve finished but there’s one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hands there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors…….

The Whole Roll Dump

No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump

Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores…..

The Houdini Dump

You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.
Star if you find this funny!

Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a Japanese Flag".

The Empty Roll Dump
Relief – you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper " must face…..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by
nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump

Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16….damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump
You’ve finished but there’s one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hands there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors…….

The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the
whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole
episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are
about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores…..

The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers – doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your *** look like "a Japanese Flag".

The Empty Roll Dump
Relief – you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper " must face…..pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by
nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump
Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16….damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump
You’ve finished but there’s one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hands there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors…….

The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the
whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole
episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are
about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores…..

The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

I am moving into a new room with tons of space to be creative with but the colours are not exactly as forgiving. Right now there is a dark blue carpet, white trim and light blue walls. I have already bought a couch with brown, gold and blue in it but I am not too sure what shades and tones of brown i should use for everything else (trim, walls, bedding and curtains). Please help me!